Why I Don't "Help" My Wife

Why I Don't "Help" My Wife

Why I Don't "Help" My Wife

Posted by NTD Inspired Life Feb. 27, 2018, 3 p.m.

I do not “help” my wife because...

Full Article: NTD Inspired Life

Tags

laundry etc, full time job, marriage work, house end, full time, stays home, husband mybe, house work, clean period, vij panday, wife child mother etc,

Comments

  1. My husband is 73 and a commander of an American legion post. That comes with a lot of responsibility. My health hasn't been good so if I can't prepare a dinner he brings home takeout. He clears the table washes dishes vacuums cleans the bathroom and sends out the laundry. When I tell him I can help I'm told to go sit and rest. He does this on top of all the post needs. When I ask him why he does so much he simply says because I love you. I'm very blessed

  2. My Father did! A fine example for my four brothers. One day a coworker of his dropped by and Dad was in the back yard hanging laundry on the clothesline. His friend laughed at him, my Dads response, when I get old my wife will still be with me, where will yours be? Daddy took care of Momma the way a man should.

  3. If the wife is a stay at home wife and Mom; I feel that the majority of those chores are hers. Her husband has the burden of financially providing for the family. I've been a stay at home wife and mother; and I've worked full time outside the home. When I did that; my husband helped with the household chores. I didn't ask or expect it when I was at home full time.

  4. No you do NOT help your wife..... you DO YOUR SHARE of the work. Both if you are equally responsible for running this house

  5. That's the way it should be in every house. A wife is not a maid. This day and age when both adults work all the work should be split 50/50. Back in the golden days things were different. So the wives did their share by doing most of the house work. But most men still helped out with what they could.

  6. No. You get up every day and go to work making a living and taking care of your family that way. She stays home and takes care of her family from there. Maybe if this is how things were, there wouldn't be so many psychopaths or lazy and disrespectful kids! I wonder how many women would LOVE to be able to stay home!!!!

  7. Today we both cook and clean period. We are a unit and we have a home to care for. No such things as females cook and clean! Those days are OVER! Dead and gone!

  8. This is so true I always do all the house cleaning l looked after our children I did it all .what I would have done for a little help from my husband mybe I wouldn't have been so tired all the time.

  9. When I'm LUCKY enough to have another wife I plan on doing more than my share of the chores around the house I plan on being Mr Mom!

  10. It doesn't matter both of them should do house work and help out with the kids having one person do all of it gets to be touch for one person I don't care if only one is making money that person should still help clean the house end of story

  11. Admire,a true men that do help around the household with out being ask to so,when you say I wanted to love and build life with someone it should be part of that is helping each other♥️♥️😊

  12. Yes some men finds it difficult and hard to help their wife, child mother etc.. Because they tell themselves that is not their job I count myself blessed everyday for my husband he helps at home without even asking we both work and we both do the chores Vij Panday

  13. I always did all the cooking , cleaning , laundry etc even when I held down a full time job . I ran the home took care of our children with all that involved . If I had it to do over again I definitely would do it differently . For one thing , if both people in a marriage work outside the home , it's not " helping " around the house .It's doing your share . Secondly , if there are 2 parents both need to be actively involved in the child's life . I think the fact that this true in many families today is wonderful .

  14. Thank you Hon of over 40years for being one of those great husbands, fathers. With both of us working Full time the last 40years I feel with our children we have taught them well with being a great partner in helping raise there families, sharing all the household duties. It all makes for a healthier and happy home. 💞💐💞

  15. Yes i do agree with men should help their wives do house work exspecialy if they have children thats only right im just saying

  16. My dad always helped around the house ...my mom would do one thing and my dad would do another ,when our mom died he did it all by himself and was able to take care on his own there's a lot off men that when there wife dies they don't know what to do

  17. Yes, but it must be done properly, not in a slap dash way. Why not, why should it have to be women who keep the house clean,? There is a husband and children all should do some housework, after all, you all live there, singer off your bums and contribute then your mum or wife can also sit down and gave a rest, or do something she wants t do.

  18. If we married our wife for better or worse in sickness and in health. Then we should help her and cater to her needs when she’s sick. When were both in good health why not help clean the house after all we live in it. Having our wife come home from work to cook her husbands dinner while he watches NFL, or any sports channel is being selish. What is so wrong cleaning the same toilet you sit on? What is hard cleaning the shower you use? We are blessed to have a wife that loves us! I have been cleaning, washing dishes, moping, vacuuming and all the other work that needs to be done since I retired because my loving wife still works. I truly enjoy doing for my Lord Jesus Christ and for my wife.

  19. I think a husband should always help his wife after all we are one when we marry we become one person in the flesh but we should share if we have to work then he should help clean house pick up after himself if we don't say thank you it's because there's a lot on her mind or you got to think about it wife has to think about laundry food and who brings all that into the home your wife and then she might have problems at work so if we don't thank you it doesn't mean that we don't appreciate we appreciate everything a husband does after all the husband is the main provider of the home God bless all the husbands that do help my husband always help me and now they're world he doesn't lift a finger so much for that

  20. Iv’e got a good hubby he helps me and I don’t have to ask, in fact he can do better than me at times that’what over 40yrs of marraige brings, my two daughters get help from their partners aswell

  21. Help is the wrong question . It implies that the job belongs to the wife instead of the family. All adults and children should take on family responsibility according to the family needs.

  22. I always did help my wife clean do whatever and in return she always help me in the yard paining because I’m hey your mother and we’re going to be done so hey she does it I do it who cares just appreciate and love in life

  23. Yes a man should help his wife in every aspect ! They want to eat, they dirty dishes, they need up the house . Be a man and help! God bless you that do help!

  24. What a lovely man. I think a wife should take care of the inside & the husband take care of the yard work & fixing things & make,sure her,car has,gas, water & oil at all times.

  25. I think everyone who in the house should help clean. The kids learn good habits and the parents are both great role models.Men who helped around the house are sexy and appreciated.

  26. The relationship between husband and wife ! It is bound duty on both sides for a happy family ! Understanding is most important for sharing the work and duty ! That is family !

  27. Being a housewife is a 7 day week 24hr job. .. How many husbands say I've been at work all week I need to go out with my mates to wind down... but the wife just carries on the same chores

  28. This is so true! It is a partnership, a team effort. Especially since most couples both work these days.
    Having been married for 48 years it has always been at times varied due to who was doing what and when, now that we are both retired it is more equal, we both do chores. I cook, he cleans up, last one out of bed usually makes it, he cleans the bathrooms and kitchen most of the time, I dust, vacuum, do laundry. It takes a team at every stage of life. That’s what it’s all about.

  29. We help each other. In the old days Dad worked and mom did housework. Or dad plowed the fired and mom did the housework. It worked for them. Today lots of demands on mom’s. Our grandmothers didn’t have the ballot teams, clubs, swim teams etc to chase around for. Some women work out of the house and others prefer to work at home. Still, in today’s society dads do help more. Not a bad idea.

  30. I liked this. But I don't think men just arbitrarily decided to dump all these duties on women. This system evolved as an outgrowth of an agrarian culture, where the man did the heavy field work and the woman provided the support services. Things have changed, better farming equipment, etc. And a shift to non heavy labor work. So I'm glad to see this trend toward once again sharing of responsibilities.

  31. Well if your wife walks out you'd be stuck doing it so better you share the effort than end up doing it alone...

  32. You don’t “help” your wife; you do your share of the chores, i.e, dishes that you used, clothes that you wore, floors you walked on, bathroom you used, etc. If she isn’t employed out of a mutual agreement and that agreement is that she will be responsible for keeping house etc then “helping” I am sure is much appreciated the same as you should appreciate her sacrifices and she should appreciate your financial contributions through your employment. For a while my ex was unemployed while I worked full time and took college classes at night - he still expected me to cook, clean and shop, ergo the divorce.

  33. It depends on the health and agreement the married couples made. Stuff happens. And, sometimes, momma gets a job or three and works because poppa is injured or ill. And then things get better or not and they make a decision from there. I can't imagine being unable to help out when needed. Helpmates. That's what it's about, not rigid roles.

  34. the first man said he doesn't help because he doesn't get any praise, does he praise his wife for all she does? probably not..

  35. Well it appears most of the replies are from American, over here husbands and partners have been sharing house old chores for a quite a few years also looking after thier children, as now this day and age both go to work, some father's also stay at home and while the mother goes to work.

  36. They should learn. Never know when you are going to be alone!!! My husband helped me all the time when I would ask and he knew how to do everything!! Some times not so good but I didn't know how to rebuild a car, but he did!! And did it in his garage!! No one was allowed in the garage until he was finish!!

  37. Yes husbands should help. They live there too. Leaving messes ie: clothes on the floor, last night's beer can or glasses or dirty dinner plate should be taken care of. Leave the childrens mess or 'house cleaning' for the wife as she'd probably do a more thorough job at that.

  38. This is why we taught our children to do their chore, because they were part of the family. They did not get paid an allowance to do this. It is part of being a family. Everyone contributes for the greater good. I have wonderful thoughtful children who raised their children the same way.

  39. She gets the vacuum out, I move the furnature. I shake the rugs. When she goes out for a little shoping I relocate the futnature to see how long it takes her to notice it has been changed. She hasn't been letting me help with the dishes so much. I do a lot of the cooking.

  40. I was raised in a home where both my parents worked and they also were true partners helping each other. Both mom and dad pitched in with the household chores, and both had a second job. We were brought up to know the importance of doing a job well done whatever it was or entailed!

  41. My opinion on this is yes if you are a stay at home mom or dad yes you should clean cook pick up kids taken care of all that good stuff. But there are days that it's just to much and a little help will go a long way. When my husband needs help at work he asked for some help. just ask. there's days that my husband comes home and helps and there's most days he dose not. he has a 7-5 job and on most weekends he's laying in bed because he's tired the only time I get to lay down is if I'm sick. But some weekends he'll pick up what I didn't do out side or in side. if you need help ask don't get pissed off if he's not help when you havnt even asked him. to us women we see the trash full men they see oh I can put a little more trash in that bag then I'll take it out. That is way some men don't understand why we get mad when they don't "help" yes sometimes you shouldn't have to go hey I need help they should just do it but here's the thing how's always doing that you so sometimes they don't know what to do or where to start just say hey I'm doing this can you get the trash and 9 times out of 10 they'll do it.

  42. Definitely I thought my husband right from the start he left his cloths on the floor so left them to pile up by Friday he asked aren't I going to put my cloths in the wash I said I'm not your mother house keeper and mad since then cleans the house put dishes. In the sink m give the kids baths n take to the park rather help me or I don't go back to work case closed

  43. I did everything until my husband retired. Because of my health, he does more chores than I do. And doesn't complain because we have respect for each other. Been married 38 years and couldn't have found a better man.

  44. Yes they should, they should get a taste of what their wives/girlfriends do every day. Cook, clean house, laundry, make sure the kids get out the door for school and etc. men think in the back of their minds that their women sit around, talk on cell or home phone, watch soaps all day. So yes the men should help out

  45. My husband does a lot around the house. The only thing he doesn't like to do is laundry and dusting (allergies). He does it if I'm working and he's not and I'll do it if he's working and I'm not.

  46. Yes. They help to make the place untidy and dirty their clothes. I am blessed my husband does everything since I was in hospital. I am able to do housework and when I offer I get told he has two hands and can manage. When I ask why the answeris because I love you. How lucky am I.

  47. Absolutely yes because in today's economy both husbands and wives have to work outside the home so they both should help within the home. Plus I am a firm believer in " I'm not your momma or your maid I am your partner and we are equal!!!!"

  48. No men should DO Housework. Helping implies its a favor to someone else ...it is just as much a mans responsibility as a woman's . I work the same hours my husband does. If I am expected to be responsible for paying the bills then he should be expected to clean house

  49. Yes i absolutely do if i'm working 40 hours a week and wash clothes and fold them sweep floors and mop and dust pick up after others go to grocery store manage the bills clean bathrooms and that isn't all

  50. I don't know what I'd do without my husband, he helps me so much, we share, and I feel that's how it should be.

  51. I definitely have a partner. My husband does the grocery shopping, vacuums, does laundry and cooks too. We are retired and I have psoriatic arthritis which limits my mobility. He's wonderful and I certainly appreciate him every day. 😙

  52. Absolutely, he lives in the home also. AND this is doubly so if there are children in the home and or if the wife works out of the home. It's his life also so he should help make it. Contrary to some men's belief a life doesn't just happen, you have to make it and share it, good and bad.

  53. Men can watch the kids while she cleans. They can vacuum,
    Put dishes away out of the dishwasher,
    fold towels and their socks.
    Make breakfast or dinner once in a while. Not a lot but it helps.

  54. Why is this even a topic of discussion? Both live in the house, so both should help clean up, cook, and similar chores. Period! It should be a real partnership.

  55. My hubby of 39 yrs has always done housework. There is NO his work or her work. It is our home, we both work so we both do the work. Some day we work together, some HE does more then other days I do more. Life IS NOT 50/50 you just take care of things & everything will work out. Most important LOVE each other

  56. Sure we are both on the same team it's a joint effort we both worked outside the home too. Even if I didn't no one person should be responsible for household chores. No one person makes the mess.

  57. I strongly believe that husband and wife are already partners from the moment they choose to start a Life together but a Nice Expression of Gratitude from each other will always help to build a Better and Stronger Relationship !!

  58. I think if the wife does not work then it's not right Husband should do lots .But if both work then that's different .

  59. , unfortunately nowadays women have to work it takes two incomes to make it and unfortunately I've been married almost 46 years and I never got to stay home the only time I got to stay home was when I have my babies and I had to stay home for 6 weeks other than that it's been both of us working it takes two incomes to make it nowadays it's not like when her parents got to stay home

  60. Yes only if you can work together. Some time the wife becomes a control freak . Or the husband
    Then no work happens

  61. We are partners and we do everything and anything to help each other. 36 years❤️ and going strong. Love my Wife!!💕✌️❤️

  62. Absolutely! My husband has always helped & does 75% of everything now that we're in our 60s. And I'm Proud to say he helped during his 40 years as an Iron Worker!

  63. My husband works full time and helps around the house. I stay home with our children who are home schooled and they have chores as well. God created a help mate for Adam Not a slave.

  64. You are very blessed Gail. But we are Husband 80. And me 77. Both of us are blessed with good health, very lucky I know, BUT we dance at least Twice a week . My husband does do most of the cooking, which I think he quite enjoys . I am the house keeper i.e. Washing cleaning housework etc etc !, the trick is I believe is to keep both yourself and your partner busy and occupied, and to take pride in what you continue to achieve. We are as a couple are very blessed.❤

  65. Yes! What if he becomes a widower ? Who will cook or clean for him ? At least Know the basics , how to turn on the washing machine. Cook a few simple foods etc !

  66. Oh WOW. Someone admitted it. FINALLY. Now let's hope other people hear this too. After all, it's not rocket science, it's common sense and decency.

  67. If both spouses are working then both spouses should share the household chores however if one spouses works and the other stays home then the stay at home spouse should be shouldering most of the responsibility for the household chores not to say the working spouse should not help with household chores